Should I or Should I not?

I think I have a huge decision to make. I have been considering something quite important since yesterday and now I am very much confused.com. It's just that I don't want to make the wrong decision again. Perhaps my emotion is being influenced by what is going on around me. There has been a lot of stress recently and with what I have gone through in the last 6 months, I think stress is the least thing that I need right now. It is very difficult especially when I know that I am not particularly ready to do anything different yet. But at the same time, I am not sure if I can put up with the pressures and the stress in my life any longer, without having to reach the breaking point.

You know when things just get thrown at you and you feel like you are obliged to just take it because you think that you have no choice? And you know when things turn out to be more than what you have expected and you know that you can't turn your back anymore because you're already in it and all you can do now is to just try and see how it goes? I feel like I am caught in a trap. If only I can get rid of the stress, then life would be easier. But we're talking about humans here. I know some people have already told me before not to let anyone get into me. But tell me, how can I possibly do that when I know that whether I like it or not, they are already a part of my life? Maybe not personally, but surely in other way. That's why it is so hard for me to just ignore it.

A colleague of mine has once told me that whenever he feels depressed about work because of how people treat him, he thinks that the purpose of these people in a particular day of his life is to make him feel bad, or to create trouble. In that way he becomes more understanding of why other people behave the way they do. Honestly, can you actually expect me to do that? Perhaps you are too young to understand and I am so sorry if I have to tell you all about this anak.

So anyway, I don't know what to do. I have a few days to think about it. Perhaps I can just try. I don't think I will lose anything if I do. But I definitely need a divine intervention. Please anak tell Father God to guide me in making the right decision. Some people claim that He takes something away from us to give us something better. Although what He has taken away from me was my best (and that was you), I am still hoping that He gives me something good. Only good because at the moment I cannot think of anything better than you.

For I will love you forever and always. Missing you so much anak.

Mommy Tintin