A lot of times, people are telling us to move on and look at the brighter side of things. I know it is easy for them to say that because they haven't lost a child. I always wonder how would they feel if what happened to us, happens to them. Would they also like to hear us say, "move on"? I know I also say those words, but not to someone who has lost somebody. I can't even think of anything to say to them. I always just say sorry to hear that and give the person a hug or hold their hand to let them know that I am there for them. Never did I tell anybody to "move on" from losing someone they absolutely loved. And when I say this, I mean loved ones whom they will never see ever again.
This is the reason why I become so sensitive when I hear people say that to me or mama, or Inang or anyone in our family. People cope with things differently. It probably is easy for them to move on, but it may not be necessarily easy for us. After all, you were not just a child. You were extraordinary. How can people easily tell us to move on? Wouldn't they feel the same if they were in our shoes? Yes, life must go on and we know that. As much as we are hurting, we are trying our best to live normally. It's never easy but we are trying.
You know what? I know that we have to move on and I have realized in the past that we need to do. But hearing the words "move on" from other people kind of hurts. I don't know why. Maybe it's just be being sensitive and all. After all, I wrote about moving on on my early days of grieving.
Personally, in my journey to recovery from losing you, I would rather people not say anything when they find out about you. I would rather them be quiet and acknowledge my pain. I don't need advice on what I need to do especially from those who has not walked in my shoes. All I need is someone who is willing to listen to my stories about you. Yes, someone who can listen. That's all I need.
It's true that people will never understand us. I am just glad that I have people around who gives me exactly what I need. I just hope that some people will stop telling us to move on, because the truth is it's hard to move on. I know some people who take years to move on from breaking up with a boyfriend or from a divorce, what more from losing a child? Do some people actually realize that? Well, perhaps they won't until they lose a child. Then they will understand what I'm talking about.
I know it's almost a year since you left us and people will expect that we would have moved on by now. We are probably getting better at living our lives without you, but we haven't completely moved on yet.
We are missing you everyday. How I wish you were still with us. We love you so much and no matter what happens, you will always be in our hearts.
Mommy Tintin
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