Please Help Papa

By the way, Papa sent me a message last night saying that he couldn't sleep because he was thinking about you. This was the very first time that he ever said that to me. While we have all been very vocal of the pain that we are experiencing from your passing, Papa would just say, "We can't do anything anymore. It's already there. We just have to accept what happened to Keith. Just let him rest in peace". Sometimes he would say, "Sayang talaga si Keith". You know I have always been worried about Papa because he has really not shown us that he is hurting. I know he is very much hurting, but I also know that he is hiding the pain.  Of course, he cried also but he was and still is not very vocal of what he really feels. He has always been strong. I am not sure though if he's just putting up a facade. Maybe he's just trying to be strong for all of us. How I wish he can just let it go. I mean, I hope he realizes that it's okay to break down and cry. It's never a sign of weakness when you're grieving. After all, he has just lost a precious child. 

When I woke up this morning, I asked him if he managed to get some sleep last night. He said he did but he went to bed late. I told him that he should just let himself go and cry if he needs to. I even told him not to be strong if he is not. I am not sure if this is the right thing to say to him, but I just want to encourage him to be true to himself and recognize his pain. Somehow I feel that his grieving is suppressed. 

Coincidentally,  I read a post from Grieving Mothers about delayed grief. I want to share it here hoping that Papa will read it.

"Many of us wind up having, "delayed grief" and all of us want to avoid that. Delayed grief comes when you do not allow yourself the time to feel your pain and work through it. You learn to stuff it down while it still eats at your insides and even years later comes out as more pain then you had in the beginning. It is like starting all over again and it shocks you and is so painful when these feeling resurface. We will always carry our grief with us but how we learn to cope or not cope with it is up to us.



It is extremely important to vent your emotions. Some people carry an impression that they must be strong and always in control, and therefore suppress their feelings and do not allow themselves to grieve the loss of a loved one. These people are the ones that get hit the hardest in the long run. There is an old oriental proverb that “strong trees fall hard”. Grief is actually a sign of strength, not weakness. If your emotions are not released through words, tears and apprehensions, they are bound to find other ways for release. That can prove to be very detrimental to your emotional wellness and physical health.

So cry it out, talk it out.. BUT get it out!"

Please help Papa anak. Please tell Papa Jesus to give him strength and to guide him. Let him feel that you are still with us even if we can't see or touch you. Tell him how much you love him. Perhaps you should pay him another visit. He misses you very much. We all do.

My love for you is endless.

Mommy Tintin