Ah, 4 days from now would be your third month in heaven. It's the same weekend when you left us. I mean, 27th is the Friday and 28th is the Saturday. I keep trying not to think about it that way, but I know it's impossible because no matter what I do it's already a part of me and I probably won't be able to let go of it for a very long time. It has been a very difficult three months for all of us. It does get easier at times, but the pain is not going away completely. I don't think it ever will though. Perhaps I just need to learn how to live with it.
It's almost been three months now and I am very afraid that as time goes by, people will stop thinking about you and talking about you. I really don't want this to happen and this is why I created a facebook page for my letters to you. I originally wanted these letters to be just between you and me and perhaps those who will stumble upon it, but I also wanted people to remember you. I have so may plans, but this facebook page is the easiest for me to do at the moment. As much as I was embarrassed to ask my friends for a favour, I asked most of them to help me by liking your page. Yes, it maybe is a very selfish act, but I couldn't think of any other way to do it. I was thinking I have more than 1,000 friends on facebook and if I can get at least half of them to like your page, then I would be rest assured that people will not forget you. Currently, 156 people have liked the page. Some of them I forced kindly asked and some of them I didn't even have to. I am so grateful to those people who may not exactly understand what I am going through at the moment, but are always willing to help. And to those whom I haven't actually met, but were kind enough to help me. I will forever be grateful to them.
There was this beautiful poem that I read from Grieving Mothers a while ago and it relates to what I am trying to convey:
Do you remember me?
I know my mom does
She cries every night when she goes to bed
I know she is sad I had to leave
I was called home
She is afraid no one will remember me
No one mentions my name to her
They are afraid it will upset her
But she longs to her my name from anyone else
Just to know they haven't forgotten I was here
I wish I could have stayed
But that wasn't in the plans for me
Just let my mom know you remember me
She may smile once in a while but I know the truth
She can fool a lot of people
But she can't fool me or Jesus
We know she is sad all the time
Wishing for me to come back home
I watch over her all the time
I know she can feel me with her
She talks to me all the time
She is always telling me how much she loves me and misses me
So please let her know you remember me
Ease her pain and mention me once in a while
It would mean so much to her
And Mom, I love and miss you too
We will be together again one day
I love you very much
It would really be a shame if people forget about you. I just hope and pray that they won't because that will honestly break my heart. You were too wonderful to be forgotten.
I am missing you all the time. I wish you were here. I love you so much.
Mommy Tintin
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