I was worried sick

I texted Mama yesterday because I wanted to speak to her about something. But then she asked me to wait because she was preparing dinner for your Adings. Ading Linus was apparently not feeling well and he was complaining that he was feeling dizzy. Although I wanted to keep calm I couldn't because my mind just went crazy and I started panicking. I was also preparing to leave for Bristol but I couldn't put my mind at rest until I have spoken to Mama. So I waited until she went online so I could speak to her via skype. When we finally did I felt a lot better.

Ading Linus vomited once and then he fell asleep afterwards. According to Mama there were no other symptoms apart from his dizziness. I couldn't get my head round to what was going on because you kept popping in my head. I was trying to just concentrate on Ading but I couldn't. I wanted to scream but I couldn't. Then I convinced myself that that was nothing serious. So I told Mama to keep an eye on Ading closely overnight and if she got worried at anytime, she should just take Ading to the hospital. For the meantime, I sent a message to Manang Salome just to warn her that Mama might bring Ading to her at some point.

I must admit that I didn't sleep well overnight thinking about Ading and what happened to you. So as soon as I woke up this morning, I called home but it was Tatang who answered the phone. Inang took Ading to the RHU. Ading apparently didn't want to go but Inang tricked him by telling him that they were going to the market. Unfortunately, Manang Salome was not there so they had to go back in the afternoon.

I regularly texted Mama and Papa because I was really worried. I know this is nothing serious, but after all that happened to you, every little thing to me is serious. I promised to myself that I will no longer take anything for granted after you left. So I need to pay particular attention to every minor detail.

Mama told me that it took them a long time to convince Ading to go to the doctor because he was crying really hard. According to Mama, he never used to be like that. Before he was easy to convince to go to the doctor, but after you left he wouldn't go anymore. perhaps he was traumatized by what happened to you. He went in the end after gentle persuasion from Mama and Inang, and even Auntie Maria.

I have chatted with Mama since and she told me that it was Ading's eyes that was causing his dizziness and vomiting. So he needs an eye specialist. Mama will sort that one out for him.

Somehow I am relieved to find out that it was his eyes, but I don't think I will have the peace of mind until I find out that Ading is clear from everything.

Please anak watch over Ading and pray that he will be better soon. I have spoken to God last night and I made a promise to Him. It's hard at the moment but I will try my best to fulfill that promise just to keep your Adings and our family safe and healthy. I don't think I am strong enough to face anymore trials after all that's happened. I am becoming weaker and weaker emotionally and I don't know if I can take anymore. But with your help and God's help, perhaps I still can.

Look after your Ading's okay anak? I know you love them as much as I do, if not more.

Mommy loves you. Missing you so much.

Mommy Tintin