Praying after sometime

I went to church this afternoon to pray for Tito JL because he will be taking his nursing board exam next weekend. He is very nervous about it. They say a little prayer sometimes helps, so I did exactly that today just in case.

Honestly, I have not really prayed seriously since you left. I don't know but I kind of lost the "trust". This is only because when Inang, Mama and I were praying for you alongside our family and friends, no one listened to us. Somehow I have doubts whether prayers do actually  work nowadays. Because as I have said before, there are a lot of people out there who probably haven't prayed in their whole life, but never ever go through what we have been through. So sometimes I can't really blame myself for asking "what's the point?". But I suprised myself when I was at the church today. I didn't know where to start. For a while I thought I have forgotten how to pray. I was just mumbling and didn't know what I was praying for. Then I started crying because I realized I haven't prayed in my knees for a while. I tried to pray for you but I really didn't know what for. I was just crying. I apologized to Him for making tampo for what happened to you. I also asked Him to please let us know sooner than later whatever reason He has for taking you. It was really hard for me to pray honestly. But eventually I think I managed to express how I felt and I hope He heard me.

I lit up candles too but I was just thinking about Tito JL's board exam. Please anak pray for him too. I want him to pass his board exam so he can find a job straight away. Remember when he told you he would buy you a car if he ever finds a job? Haha. I know it's never going to happen anymore but I know Tito will still think about that whenever he'll buy a car for himself or for anyone else.

Oh well, I think I need to get myself into praying again. I know it's not gonna be easy but I will try my best. I need your help anak.

Please continue to pray for us and pray for Tito JL. Help him so he will pass his exams.

I love you anak. Mommy misses you everyday.

Mommy Tintin