90 minutes in Heaven by Don Piper

I have finally finished reading this book. I bought it after one of the grieving mothers I met online recommended it to me. I must admit that I have reservations with this book. I bought it hoping to get an answer to some of my questions. In actual fact, it did help me a little bit. However, I also felt a sense of guilt while reading this book. I will tell you why later. I just want to point out someyjomh from the book first.

First of all, with the amount of injuries that Pastor Piper sustained from his car accident, it is indeed a miracle that he is still alive. I couldn't help myself but question God at that point. Why did he survive and you didn't? You were treated as far as I know, while Pastor Piper was declared dead on the scene. You were better that night when I called Mama and she said you were going home the next day. But why were you taken away at an instance without any warning? How did that happen?

Pastor Piper claims that he was saved because someone prayed over him and other people from his church prayed for him. But I have been praying for you, too for as long as I can remember. Perhaps not as religiously as I am supposed to. But I always asked God to protect you and your Adings. To keep you away from harm. But they still took you. Maybe I was just not praying hard enough,. Maybe my faith in God was not strong enough to save your life. Even Inang prayed for you, even Mama and some of my friends. How many people did we need to pray for you? How was I supposed to have prayed to save your life? I must admit, I am very jealous of Pastor Piper. Because he had people around him who prayed really hard for his life, he is still with us now. How I wish I knew how to pray properly before. Maybe I was not doing it right. I want to know how to pray so God will listen to me.

Somehow this book has left me with mixed emotions. I have learned so much from this book and this book is the reason why I started reading the Bible again. I still have so much to tell you about this book, but I will write to you again tomorrow.

Please pray anak that I will be able to pray the way God expects me to pray. I want to become closer to Him as I was when I was younger. I feel guilty that I let that closeness with Him slip away, but I know it is never too late.

I love you baby. I am missing you so much.

Mommy Tintin