but there's nothing to worry about. For more than a year now, I had your photo as my wallpaper on my mobile, but I changed that today for a reason.
Since I started at my new job, people have asked if I had a child. I tried as much as I could to say no, although it was so hard for me because I felt like I was denying. But the only reason I had was that I didn't want people to feel sorry for me and I didn't want to make a fuss. Besides, when I slipped and accidentally told someone about you, she ignored me. She didn't give me any compassion at all. So since then, I thought that telling people about you at work may not be a good idea. Only one person knew about you, just because she is my boss and I feel that I should tell her.
But something happened few days ago. I was charging my phone when someone jokingly asked if I was also playing a music from it and he just all of a sudden press the button and your photo popped up. He was surprised to see your photo of course because I have never told them that I had a child. So he asked who you were and he just went on and on if you were my child. I tried to change the conversation by telling him that it is a long story and that I don't want to talk about you but somehow, he was forcing me to say something. So unguarded, I said that I lost you a year ago. I became so defensive and immediately told him not to worry because I am okay and life has to go on. It was so awkward because the person I tried to talk to about you before was sat beside me and I knew that she really didn't care. I just didn't know what to say. Thankfully, I managed to change the topic.
So here is the change I had to make just in case someone fiddles with my phone at work again.
From this:
To this:
It kind of hurts that I had to do this, but I know you understand anak. It doesn't mean that I will not be able to look at your photo everyday because your face is forever tattooed in my mind.
I love you Keith and God knows how much I am missing you all the time.
Mommy Tintin
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