Tuesday 17 April 2012

It's really not the same anymore

Nothing really. I just realized that whenever I call home, I don't feel the same anymore. Your absence is very much felt. I don't want to say that I am no longer excited because I still am, especially when your Adings tell me stories. And of course I miss everyone too. But the thing is, you're not there anymore and that makes my every skype moment with them incomplete.

There is not a phone call that I don't mention your name. Sometimes, I just blurt it out randomly. Last time I even asked Ading Kika if he has actually seen you, just out of the blue. Ading Linus answered for her and said no, because Ading Kika is apparently scared, which she denied of course. Anything that I could think of about you really. I just want to make sure that you are a part of our every conversation. Before it was you and Ading Linus playing on the computer together. Now it's Ading Linus and Ading Cxyrelle. They bake cakes and play tetris online. I don't think Ading Linus have been on youtube to look for music videos though. Not that I can recall anyway. Obviously because the Music Man is no longer there. Everytime we're on skype, he is either playing tetris or Ading Kika is baking cakes. Sometimes they would fight over the computer until Mama tells them off. Hayyy, how I wish you were with them. 

I am feeling lonely today because I am alone at home. Daddy went to work. I went to my GP this afternoon hoping that they would see me regarding my arm, which I think is now swollen. Unfortunately, the lady told me that they still need to do health checks so I need to go back again. Luckily, my arm is not that painful anymore. It still hurts when I lean hard or move it suddenly, but at least it's not as bad.

Anyway, I found this poem while searching in google, but unfortunately I don't know who wrote it. It's beautiful so I thought I'd share it with you.


If Tears Could Build A Stairway


If tears could build a stairway and thoughts a memory lane
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again
No farewell, words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why.


My heart's still active in sadness
And secret tears till flow
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know


But now you want us 
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store.


Since you'll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you'll always stay


God knows why, with chilling touch
Death gathers those we love so much
And what now seems so strange and dim
Will al be clear when we meet Him


from iasos.com


I love and miss you so much Keith. How I wish you'd never left us. You will always be my baby.


Mommy Tintin

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