Tito JL posted the video of the song on your facebook wall and as soon as I read the first two lines of the song, I knew I will love it. Although it was written by someone for his mother after she passed away, the message is just the same and from now on this is my other song for you.
" Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly"
Most of the time I still can't believe that you're gone. It's almost 6 months now and I am missing you more than ever before. But I know you're always with me and I have proven this so many times- during those times when I am under pressure, almost always want to give up and those times when I think I can't do anything because I am weak. I know you are there to remind me that I can do those things because you know I can. You may not be here physically, but I can honestly feel your presence. When I talk to you, you answer back in your own little strange, silent ways. And through your life's motto, I am now able to do things that I thought I could never do. Because of you, I am stronger and because of you I know I can do anything.
"You were always there waiting
And I'll come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see"
I am dreading going home next year because I don't know how it's gonna be like, knowing that there will no longer be three of you waiting for me inside the van when I arrive at the airport. It'll just gonna be your Adings. I remember one time when you took me to the airport after my vacation. I was not gonna cry but I saw you leaning on the open car window, looking at me while I was in the queue to get in and I saw your sad face so I started crying. I can still clearly remember that moment. I know it's gonna be hard going home now, but I am sure you will still be there. I know you will. And I know you will make things better for me and our family.
" And I know, you're a part me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me"
This is so true. Remember when I told you about your song only playing when I feel like giving up? This happens a lot when I am running. But there are also times when my mind is filled with negative thoughts and all I have to do is sing your song "Lighters", then I will feel better. It's almost like magic. There are times when your songs will just play randomly in random places. Maybe it's your way of reminding me that you're always with me. But whatever it is, be it a coincidence or not, one thing is for sure, your songs always comfort me.
"I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true"
Well, you probably know that I carry Meow-meow with me whenever I go to special events and places. Meow was a very special part of your life and I want it to be a special part of me too.
"And what you did you did with feeling
And you always found the meaning
And you always will"
I am sure you found meaning in everything that you have done in that short span of 11 years. As Inang and Mama would always say, you knew about a lot of things. And now that you're gone, we are the ones looking for meanings in everything that you have said and done before you were taken away.
" I'm glad He set you free from sorrow"
Sometimes it comforts me to think that perhaps God took you away to spare you from all that is evil in this world. There will no longer be suffering for you, only peace and happiness.
"I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still"
Indeed. For the rest of my life.
I miss you.
Mommy Tintin
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