We're leaving for Italy tomorrow

This would be our first proper holiday since April last year. A lot of things have happened since and I guess Daddy and I deserve a holiday. So tomorrow we're leaving for Cinque Terre. We'll be staying there for five days. I was going to bring Meowmeow, but I thought maybe she won't like it there. It's kind of a hiking trip and I am afraid that I might lose him. Besides I don't think that this will be a trip that you wanted to go to anyway. So, I am taking your t-shirt instead just so I have a piece of you with me. 

We will leaving for the airport quite early tomorrow. We have already packed but I still have some stuff to do. It's always stressful to pack because of the weight limitations of baggage and things like that. It would be have been better if Daddy wants to check in our baggage, but he doesn't because it's not free. So as much as I am not comfortable with dragging stuff at the airport, I have no choice.

From tomorrow I will be writing to you form Italy. I don't know how our day is gonna be like, but I will find time to write to you, okay anak?

Mommy has to go now as I still need to sort out some stuff. I love you baby and I will be thinking of you on our trip.

Please watch over me and Daddy and tell Jesus to keep us safe. Miss you!

Mommy Tintin

Just one of those days

I was a bit sad this morning and I cried again. This is because Mama told me that another angel has joined you in heaven. Before I even found out what exactly happened, I was already crying. Then Mama told me that the baby actually died in her/his mother's womb. Unfortunately, the baby was not given the chance to live even just for a little while. But maybe, he/she was never meant to be on earth that's why God has taken him/her very soon. I am confident that if you meet the baby in heaven, you will surely take care of him/her.

I also noticed today that your friend Anthony used your group picture on your last birthday as his profile picture. I really appreciate when people think about you in their own little ways. As I have always said, I really don't want you to be forgotten. I know you won't be, but you know. 

Anyway, I was looking at your pictures again this morning and it felt like you've never left. Then Mama told me that when she went to see the baby angel, people were talking about you too. Someone apparently told Mama that it may not have been Dengue that took you away. I don't think we want to know anymore, because whatever it is and whatever we do, we can no longer get you back. You're in a different place now and I know that you're happier up there. All I am praying for now is for us to see the purpose of what happened to you. Then we can perhaps finally move on completely. 

For now, please know that you're always in our thoughts and that you will never be forgotten. We love you so much!

Mommy Tintin

Still on your drawing

It seems like I have not actually moved on from your mysterious drawing yet. I am still looking for ways on how I could interpret it. The lady I phoned yesterday about psychologists has got back to me today and told  me that they may not be able to give me the answers that I am looking for. She suggested that I should speak to a psychoanalyst and see what they say.

I will have no time anymore this week to find a psychoanalyst because Daddy and I are leaving for Italy on Sunday. I have some errands and houseworks to do tomorrow and on Saturday. But I promise I will look for someone who can interpret your drawing when we get back. I know you probably are thinking why I am doing this. And knowing you, you do not want any fuss when it comes to your artworks. But you know, this recent drawing that Mama discovered I believe has a mystery on it, so I am very eager to find out about it.

Ah, perhaps in Italy I will come across somebody. Who knows? I know someone out there will be able to help me.

By the way, I forgot to mention that looking at your drawing, it appears to me that it's a pendant? I don't know if that's what you were thinking then but it reminded me of Tito JL's dream about a pendant that has XI on it. Remember that? It may not be related at all but the fact that it looks like a pendant I am thinking that probably there is a link between the two. Ah I don't know.

I will let you know as soon as I found someone who can interpret your drawing. For now, it will remain a mystery.

Well, some of my friends think that you are very talented indeed when I showed them the drawing. They think it's an abstract because apparently that's how it looks like at first glance until you look at it closer.

How I wish I can speak to you and ask you about the drawing. I know you most probably say "wala po", but I just want to hear your voice. Visit me soon because I am missing you so much.

I love you baby.

Mommy Tintin

The mystery in your drawing

So you've kept this little drawing inside your wallet all along. It's really weird that Mama only found out about it now. But nevertheless, this is something that I am most interested in , among your other drawings and paintings. It looks a little bit weird yes, but I know there is a meaning behind this drawing - the heart shape, the stars, the moon, the sun and the person at the bottom of the heart. I mean why would you put them all in the same drawing? Well, only you can probably tell us what you were thinking at that time. For the meantime though, I asked my "godly" friend what she thinks of it.

There are at least five key symbols in your drawing. I have taken the meanings both from my friend and the internet. 

1. The moon which apparently represents light because according to my friend, if we come to think of the ray of the moonlight, it lights up even in the dark. But I read on the internet that the moon represents the telestial world, which is the lowest among the heavenly  kingdoms. And this includes those who do not or have not recieved the gospel of Christ just like those who tell lies.

2. The stars on the other hand represent the terrestial world which simply means our earth.

3. The sun is the celestial world where God resides, and the highest of the three heavens.


***Those three mentioned above are the degrees of glory according to Mormon theology.*** (wikipedia)

4. The heart shape obviously means love I suppose.

5. The man at the bottom of the heart: At first glance, it looks like a man on the cross. And also when I zoomed it I kind of noticed that the head is slightly bent towards right shoulder. My friend said that the man could be you and the whole drawing simply represents the kind of person that you were. But I would also like to think that the man is Jesus.


I don't really know. This drawing may be interpreted in so many ways. But my friend said that there is a realm of spirituality in it. So, I decided to search for Bible verses that I can somehow relate to your drawing.


"And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the Heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them for signs, and for seasons, and for days and years." (Genesis 1:14)


"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and on the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring" (American King James Version)


I found more verses but I got scared because they remind me of what you used to tell Inang and Mama about the end of the world- that there will be water and other calamities.


My friend said that she will study some verses and let me know about the relevance of your drawing in the Bible.


I have also contacted a counsellor this afternoon just to ask for their opinion. She said she will refer me to a psychologist so I can explain to them exactly what I want to know. Don't worry anak, I just want to know what your drawing means and that's just it.


I miss you so much you know. Please know that I love you.


Mommy Tintin

A drawing and A box

Mama told me yesterday that she found a piece of folded paper inside your wallet. Maybe Mama hasn't touched it for a while since you left that's why she only found it now. Apparently there was a drawing on that paper but she couldn't figure out what it was. The only thing she said was that it looked like an illusion. Mama said she's planning to take it to someone who can interpret drawings, but I told her to take a photo of it first then I will show it to my godly friend. She said she'll do it tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Papa sent a box and they recieved it yesterday. Now I know why Inang went to Manila with Mama Es and Daddy Henry. They apparently picked up the box from Ninang Ester.

So your Adings were very excited about the box. Both of them received bags and Ading Cxyrelle already used it for school today apparently. And guess what she put inside the bag? Powder and perfume. She's so kikay, right? That's probably why you called her Kika.

Oh, I know you would been as excited as they were about that box. I bet you were there with them when they opened it anyway. You are greatly missed. Please visit me soon. I miss you so much.

I love you my Pochongchong.

Mommy Tintin

Mama's dream about Darwin and Tito JL's finally home

Hi anak, I talked to Mama briefly this morning and she mentioned that she dreamed about Darwin (your gold fish). She was not sure if it was Darwin or the other fish, but apparently it died. Meanwhile, Ading Lye and Ading Cxye were playing with Darwin and he was kissing their fingers. I am sure Darwin misses you. I told them to look after him and to clean the aquarium often so he will not die. Mama was telling me that they will bring Darwin with them when they move to their new house. She is actually planning to build a room for you so he can put your paintings and Darwin in there. But when I have enough money, I will build a studio for you because I know you wanted to have one.

On the other hand, as of this writing Tito JL is most likely back in San Felipe for good. He took his board exams over the weekend and today they went to pick him up. Inang went with them. When I spoke to Tito on skype, they were already in Subic, so they should be home now.

It's just so sayang because if you were still, you could be spending more time with Tito. I am sure you will be listening to music and you will be sleeping over at their house more often than you did. Ahhhh, I am sure it will be difficult for him because I know how close you two were. I will speak to Tito when he's settled and perhaps ask him to share his memories with you through my letters to you. I know you had so much fun together.

For now anak, I have to get ready as I am going back to bristol again today. I will be thinking about you for sure and will be listening to your songs while I'm on the bus.

I love you so much and hope you know that!

Mommy Tintin

Ading's birthday gown

It's still 5 months until Ading Cxyrelle's 7th birthday but she's already planning for it. Yes, she has changed her mind and decided to have a party. She was telling Mama how she would like her gown to look like. As she's always told us, she wants seven different gowns for the party. Not that they will all be new, because she has already collected a lot of gowns. Then she said she wants all the children to attend in their Hello Kitty outfits. She also wants her give aways to be all hello kitty. I would have thought that she would choose pretty princesses, but it looks like she has changed her mind.

Apparently, you were gonna play the violin for her, but unfortunately you can't anymore. Perhaps Aga can. I will tell Mama to ask him. I'm sure it's not going to be easy for everyone because you will not be there, but as I always say, I know you will be up there watching.

I found this hello kitty gown for Ading and I sent it to Mama so Ading can have a look at it. Ading said that this is exactly what she has in mind. :)

I know right? I can imagine you smiling up there. How I wish you were here to witness Ading's 7th birthday. We will surely miss you so much.

I love you baby.

Mommy Tintin