You live through your Adings

They finally heard the sound of the violin at home a few days ago. It has been almost two years since they heard you last play the instrument. It also took your Adings that long to finally pick up those instruments and play with them.

I am happy at the same time sad to see your Adings do what you loved doing. It would always been better if the three of you played those instruments. But I am happy still because you remain your Adings' inspiration. It's just that I always wish you were here, too.

Ading Linus plays the violin and the lyre.

Ading Cyrelle now plays the violin and she's enjoying it.

Ading Cxyrelle has always been into arts, but now she is an official art student at Casa San Miguel. And here are her first art works.

I know you are very proud of your Adings. I remember Ading Cxyrelle saying that you taught her how to mix colours. And Ading Linus of course, you taught him how to play the violin.

As much as I am very happy to see him enjoying what you used to enjoy, it hurts me so bad that you're not here to share it with them.

You are deeply missed every single day. I wish you can visit us again soon.

We love you so much Keith. YOu will forever be in our hearts.

Mommy Tintin

Guess what?

You probably already knew that Papa used to join poster making contests when he was younger. I have always known that he could draw very well. He actually also did some letterings as well. But you know, he really didn't pursue any of those talents. In fact when he became good at playing chess, he seemed to have forgotten his "talents". 

I was actually surprised when he started posting some of recent works. To be fair, he hasn't held a charcoal perhaps in more or less than 20 years. And all of a sudden he comes out with beautiful pieces. Inang told me that Papa wanted to follow your footsteps also. Funny, right? That your Papa is the one following your footsteps. I can see you smiling up there right now. You are probably also surprised. It's just a shame that you're no longer to look at Papa's work. Now I am wondering why he didn't do all this when you were here. He didn't even drew or painted with you I think. But, I think there is a purpose. Because then even if you are not here, your Papa and your Adings will continue what you have started.

I am just so happy to see Papa do what he used to love doing. It's just a shame you're not sure to enjoy it with him. I am sure you're in his thoughts when he's working.

Mama

 Ading Cxyrelle

This is what surprised me the post. I didn't know Papa can paint. He only ever used water colours and coloured pens. Hehe. But look, looks familiar, right? You are indeed his inspirations.

Hayyy Keith, I don't really know why you had to go. Things would have been better and far more enjoyable with you around. But hey....

I am missing you so much. It's almost two years now but the feeling is still the same.  You are greatly missed my Pochongchong. Mommy loves you so very much.

Mommy Tintin

Update on your friends

So, I told you that your friends went back to school this week. I was not expecting that somehow, they will think of you. But your friend Xyryl posting something on her facebook that really warmed my heart. That was really unexpected. You have no idea how much it made me happy. However, it also made me sad at the same time knowing that you were not there with them. This is what she said:

"Iona Frederick Her Jae Ed Anthony Christelle Justin Joseph guys kung sakali lng ha kung sakali lng nmn kung buhay pa rin si keith hanggang ngayon tingin nyo magiging mas msya gr.7 nten ?  tingin nyo mas msya ang bawat araw na pumapasok tyu? at anung section sya cguro pag aagawn pa ata ee pero sna naabutan nya yung gr. 7 noh — feeling bad."

How sweet was that? I am just really happy that somehow you're still a part of them. Then she also posted this:

"yeeeeeeees wlaaaaaaaaang pasooooooook pero sna ksama n lng nten si keith sa librehan mmya — feeling sad."

I'm sure your friends miss you.

And then Mama told me that Aga is now studying at the Regional Science. I know you are proud of him. You both wanted to study there. I'm sure Aga did that for the both of you.

And also, Megan was able to make it at the International MTG. She will be competing in SIngapore in August.

See, you're friends are definitely pursuing those dreams that you once shared with them.

It is really heartwarming to know that this is all happening. Thank you anak for looking over your friends.

I love and miss you so much.

Mommy Tintin

Happy Valentine's Day

This is your second Valentine's day in heaven. I have always wondered who your someone special was. You never really told anyone. One of your friends told us that he knew her, but he promised you that he won't tell anybody. Even when we bribed him to tell us, he refused to say anything because he didn't want you to get mad at him. It would be nice to know who your secret crush was. Of all the girls that have expressed their admiration to you, it's really impossible not you didn't like any of them. But then even your teachers said that you really didn't like it when the girls came up to you to flirt with you. One of your teachers said that when you get irritated, you would warn the girl to stop. And if she didn't you would walk away. There was one of the girls that they thought you liked though. But apparently you were not in speaking terms until you left. Your friends said that you had an "LQ". The one good was you remained civil with each other. It's so cute how your friends and teachers described the moments when you had to speak to her. You really wouldn't look at her. Perhaps you also like her. Uyyyyyy....

Sorry for teasing you anak. I know you don't want to be teased. It's just so sad that we won't be able to see you fall in love. I never get to experience you asking me for money to buy your special someone a gift. You only got to a point where you weren't sure if it was good or bad to have a crush on someone. You were so unsure that you had to ask Mama. 

Have you met St. Valentine's yet? I can imagine cherubs playing sweet music to St. Valentine. I wonder how you're celebrating it up there. 

Since your friends have given you the title, "crush ng bayan", I'm sure somehow there is one lucky girl out there who has stolen your heart. I won't be surprised if you had loads of admirers. And I mean, of all ages, young or older ladies. You almost had it all!

I miss you so so much Keith pogi. I miss asking you if you had a crush. And I miss you telling me, "huh, wala po". I love you more than you'll ever know.

Mommy Tintin

Harbor Point Exhibit

First of all, thank you for always being our little "Lighter". You really know when to make us feel better. Few days before your first angelversary, Mama was approached by Casa regarding your paintings. They borrowed ten of them. Five of them remained in Casa, while the other five were exhibited in Harbor Point, Subic. Thank you for sharing your talents to many people anak. Your legacy lives in your work. It is our honour for your paintings to be included in that exhibit. We are so proud of you!

I love and miss you so much.


Mommy Tintin
        

It's almost K Lighter Day again

I think I will make your Angel birthdays and your Angelversaries official K Lighter days. One thing that I am not sure of though is if people will continue to support me on this. But nevertheless, I would still love to continue what I have started. And on your first angelversary, here is what I have done:

I actually put together two of your works in one photo to come up with this. Nothing really, I was just having a creative moment and thought I'd do one for you.

Just like our first K Lighter Day, I asked our family and friends to join again by doing 11 of the things that you loved doing:

1. Light a candle (blue preferably if you have one) and say a little prayer.

2. Read the Bible or pray the Rosary

3. Sing or play his favourite song "Lighters" by Eminem

4. Don't hurt or worse kill any insect or animals

5. Play a musical instrument if you are able to

6. Make someone's day "Lighter" in any way you can

7. Make your family and friends feel that you love and care for them

8. Avoid saying bad words

9. Draw or paint something that reminds you of Keith

10. Wear white or blue

11.Remember his motto, "Kaya ko po, Ako Pa" and take the challenge of doing something you thought you can never do.

This time, I came up with 11. I like it actually as it represents your 11 years on earth.

I know it's not going to change. January 28 will always be the day that changed our lives forever, no matter what year it is. That will will remain my saddest day, for I will always remember the day you left us. But I am hopeful that eventually, January 28, will no longer remind us of the pain, but somehow will remind us that a beautiful boy was taken away from us to give way to a new and brighter beginning. I am still hoping that sooner or later, I will be able to find that purpose. I am not giving up on it.

I miss you baby boy and I will forever love you with all my heart.

Mommy Tintin

What about an exhibition?

The moment I found out that you could paint, I started dreaming for you. I dreamed that one day, you will have your own art exhibition like those artists that Daddy and I admire. That one day, you will have your own art gallery in our town so people can freely look at your paintings. Even now that you're no longer here, I never stopped dreaming. I know someday, my dream- your dream will somehow come true.

And today I received a good news from Mama. When you left, Sir C from Casa said that they were going to hold an exhibition in your memory. That was in the summer. But then for some reason, we lost touch and I thought it was all forgotten. I must admit that I was a bit sad about it because I was looking forward to that moment. But then, apparently his secretary went to our house today to ask if they could borrow five of your paintings, or at least two for an exhibition at the Ayala Mall in Olongapo. Mama said that they somehow hesitated to ask for the paintings before because they thought we won't lend it to them, that's why they never asked again until today. Little did they know that we are more than willinf to lend them your paintings because I know that we can always be proud of them.

You have no idea how that news made me so happy. Well, although it's not fully confirmed yet, my hopes are high. This is a very pleasant surprise and I am really hoping and praying that it will push through. Let's wait and see. For the mean time though, here are five of your paintings that I really, really love:

I think this is everyone's favourite. There is something on this painting that captures the eyes of some people.

I asked you to paint Monet's Water Lily, but you ended up making your own. One thing that I noticed about you, you didn't like copying paintings. You had your own interpretation of things.

The Lighthouse

 How I wish I know the story behind your every painting.

Remember I told you that one of my favourite paintings is the Sunflower by Van Gogh? I remember asking you to google it and then paint it for me. It's quite obvious that you didn't want to paint a dying flower because you painted the opposite. 

This painting was Daddy Don's request.  This is your version of one of Miro's paintings- "Woman and Dog beneath the Moon". Just like the other paintings I asked you to copy, you changed something on the painting.

See, if only they allowed you to stay longer with us, you could have done more beautiful paintings. But never mind, although your not here, your paintings will live forever and Mama and I will make sure that they are taken good care of.

I am so excited for the exhibition. I hope they won't change their minds. I am so proud of you. I love and miss you baby ko.

Mommy Tintin

Their visit to Aga

Before Christmas, Mama and your Adings visited Aga. It looks like they had a lot of fun. I am very happy that they all managed to keep in touch especially now that you're no longer here and Aga has transferred to another school. I'm sure you're happy about that too.

They definitely miss you and I know you miss them too.

I miss and love you.

By the way, how's your Christmas up there?

Mommy Tintin

Your very last school Christmas party

I chatted with your friend HJ for a bit yesterday and she told me that she was preparing for your class Christmas party. I still like to talk about them or your school as if you never left. Last year, you had fu on your Christmas party and I'm glad Mama took some photos and videos. I can just look back at them this time of the year.

The first photo I will show you is the last Christmas photo you have with Ading Linus. You were wearing your favourite shirt. 

And this one is perhaps your last photo with your friends:

And these are your photos having fun:

And just like those 20 other angels and more, I'm sure you will have a better Christmas than those you left behind. I can imagine bright lights and voices of angels singing praises to Jesus. Oh, how I wish you could tell me how Christmas is like in heaven.

I miss you this christmas season and years to come! I will always love you.

Mommy Tintin

They're out on a field trip

I have just spoken to Inang, Mama and Ading Linus. They were getting ready for their school trip. Now you probably are wondering why Inang is going as well. Apparently, oldies are also allowed so Mama asked Inang if she wanted to go. I was actually actually surprised that she said yes because she told me that she will no longer go anywhere because you're no longer here. Maybe she feels a bit better now. I guess this is such a good idea because Inang needs a diversion. She has not been anywhere outside our town since you left apart from Olongapo. So I guess this is good for her. I spoke to her and she is really excited for this trip. She woke up very early. I was actually teasing her that she probably didn't sleep anymore because she was so excited. Oh by the way, she told me that their phone rang around 10pm and Inang wasn't able to answer it. She asked me if that was me but I didn't call her. Although it might have been Papa or someone else, I jokingly told her that it was you from heaven. I told her that you probably wanted to tell them you were going with them too. Haha. And that again brought back memories when you were still around.

Remember Inang has this "anting-anting", as Tatang would call it?Haha. What I mean is that she has a tendency to just disappear, in other words she easily gets lost. And of course you're no longer there to look after her. I remember one time when you were in Olongapo and Inang went to the toilet. She didn't go back for a while and you started worrying about her. Inang told me that you would always say, "Si Consuelo nawawala, hanapin na natin siya" as your lambing to her. And then you would go and find her. So today I told her that you will be going with them so they don't need to worry because I'm sure you will look after them. Ading Linus also promised Inang that he will look out for her. But Ading is not as mature as you. He probably will be playing with his friends when he gets there. And I really would like him and Ading Cxyrelle to have a lot of fun because this is their field trip. So I am not really expecting Ading to do the same thing as you would normally do. Maybe when he is a bit older.

Oh well, this is their second field trip without you. But don't worry Ading Linus said you're with them anyway. Please tell Father God to keep them safe on their journey. I really don't have to ask anything from you because I'm sure even if I don't ask, you will still be there for them. Thank you my baby.

Mommy loves you very much and I still hope and pray that one day I will meet someone like you. Miss you baby.

Mommy Tintin

Ading Cxyrelle's Birthday Party

Mama has finally posted the photos from Ading's birthday party. I didn't realize that it was that big. I knew there were seven gifts, balloons, pillows, prayers etc but I was not expecting that there would be a lot of people. I don't know but everytime there is a party at the house, a lot of people always turn up, invited or not invited. Not that we mind, but people know we're not rich, and yet people love coming to our house. I am not sure if this is something that we should be proud of or not. Perhaps it is because we can always say that people love us not for what the material things that we have. I remember when you left, a lot of people came to volunteer. We didn't even have to ask for their help. They just turned up and did whatever they could to help the family. Our family is very lucky indeed to be surrounded by those people who are always willing to help us despite not having that much to give.

Anyway, looks like everyone had fun on Ading's birthday. Tita Babang did Ading's hair and make up.

Can you see how much she's having fun having her hair done? You know her very well right? Ading Kika is maarte as you would have always told her.

Tito Roman was in cahrge of the decoration as I have told you and Tita Gina was the emcee. Tita Joy was also there to give them a helping hand.

Inang told me that she couldn't but cry when Ading Linus and Ading Cxyrelle made their way to the "stage". You probably know why. She remembered that originally, you were Ading's escort because Ading Linus was shy and didn't want to do it. Seeing them together obviously reminded her of you. And yes, people mentioned your name. They would definitely have been happier if you were there. But I'm sure Ading Linus have done you proud because he is not shy anymore. He actually told Papa that he is now "bravo" unlike before he was kind of scared of people. 

Inang, Tatang, Auntie Maria, Daddy and Mama Es all gave their birthday wishes to Ading. You probably will be glad to know that Ading and Tatang actually danced. How I wish he was like that to you and your Adings from the beginning. But never mind, it's never too late. Well, too late for you but I am sure you will be happy just the same.

Ading Linus was so handsome in his pink shirt. Who would have thought that he could pull it off that well? You probably wouldn't have been keen on wearing pink, but I'm sure you would have looked good on it too.

I'm so sad that they were not able to spend Ading's birthday with you Kuya. And it's just a shame that you will not be able to see Ading Cxyrelle grow up. But as I have always said, I'm definitely sure that you will always be there for them.

We love and miss you so much and times like this will always be incomplete because you're not here.

Mommy Tintin

Ading's birthday party was a success!

I have seen some of the photos form Ading's 7th birthday party today but they were not from Mama. I was embarrassed to just take it from Auntie Miles so I will post the photos as soon as I receive them from Mama.

I'm sure you were there with your Angel friends and saw everything. Ading Cxyrelle was so beautiful and Ading Linus was so handsome. Sayang you were not there physically. It would have been three beautiful children from our humble family.

It appears to me that your Adings had fun. Ading Cxyrelle was very hands on in planning the whole party so I'm sure she got what she wanted. Her party was a Hello Kitty theme and although she didn't have the Hello Kitty gown that she wanted, at least she wore what she designed. Eversince Ading has been designing her own gowns. Not that she draws I don't think, but she tells whoever makes her gowns exactly how she wants them to be. So I'm sure she was happy with the her gowns.

I can't wait to hear from Mama so she can tell me everything that happened during the party. We still have not managed to talk because they were very busy and they had visitors until late. I will try and speak to them tomorrow and will let you know okay? I'm sure you and your angel friends also enjoyed the fun but perhaps you couldn't stay long because I know you're very busy in heaven, singing praises to the Lord and doing angelic tasks. 

I know that you were missed today at the party, not only by our family but by everyone who were there. You probably don't know but you have left an important mark in those people's lives and you will always be remembered by them. I'm sure when I speak to Mama, she will definitely tell me that at least one or two people have mentioned your name during the party.

Hay, it is so sad that you didn't get to dance with Ading on her 7th birthday. But I know that you watched over her and Ading Linus the whole time. 

I miss you so much baby. Mommy loves you.

Mommy Tintin

Ading's all set up for her 7th birthday party!

Mama texted me to say that everything is almost ready for Ading Cxyrelle's 7th birthday party on Saturday. Tito Roman was at the house planning for the decorations and Mama also has spoke to Auntie Gina, who will be the emcee during the party. Mama was asked to write a speech for Ading, but she said she couldn't because she couldn't help but cry. And you probably know why right? Everyone was looking forward for this day as this is your Ading's "debut". You were of course included in all the plans, but unfortunately you will no longer be able to attend physically. But please take your angel friends with you and be with Ading on her birthday. I'm sure she will be very happy to know that you're just around. I know how much she wanted you to be there, alongside Ading Linus as her escorts. I feel really sad that someone is going to be missed on her birthday. But what can we do? You probably would have approved of all the fuss like the cotillion and all the seven dances and stuff, but I'm sure you will just be smiling at her, telling her that she's so "maarte", which you have always called her whenever she wanted to dress up or was acting up. Oh, how they will miss you on that day.

Ading and Mama's friends at school are very helpful. They actually made Ading's invitation. It looks really good. Here i is:

I'm not sure what they're gonna do tomorrow though as tomorrow is Ading's real birthday. The party is on Saturday so all her friends can attend. I will call Ading later to greet her happy birthday.

We miss you loads baby ko. Please remember that we love you so much.

Mommy Tintin

You are your Ading's inspiration

Obviously.

I was chatting with Papa earlier on and he told me that Ading Linus was chosen to compete at a Poster Making Contest in Cabangan. Apparently he was chosen randomly so he was not able to prepare. He didn't even  have drawing materials but he still joined because he was doing it for you. In fact since you left, Ading Linus has become more active in school. He used to be very shy also when it comes to participating in school activities. But he wants you to be proud of him so he wants to continue what you have started. This is the reason why he started joining competitions at school. He always thinks about you and he obviously looks up to you. Just like when he was at the poster making contest, he apparently couldn't start drawing straight away. Probably because he really didn't expect to be there. So you know what he did? He asked you to help him. Someone apparently heard him say, " Kuya, umpisahan mo nga, tatapusin ko". Haha. And so he managed to draw something and finished it in the end. Thank you for helping Ading.

Mama also told me that Ading was telling stories about you at the contest. He apparently said that if you were the one to draw, it would be really good. Then Ading's friend asked Mama if what would you draw. Mama told him that it has always been difficult to tell what's on your mind. Then Ading's friend answered that you always think deep that's why.

See, your memory lives on. There will always be something that will remind us of you. Moments like this, objects, music, anything. This somehow makes me feel better because it feels like you really never left us. You may not be here physically, but I know you're here. We just need to learn how to listen to you. But saying that, we still miss you so much.

I love you baby.

Mommy Tintin

I think we're ready

Well, I finally had my t-shirt done today so I guess we are ready for the run on Sunday. I just need a new pair of running shoes as the one I have now is really not the right shoes. I'm not sure if I'll have anymore time but I will try to buy tomorrow.

As always, thank you for inspiring me to do all these things. And please pray for me and Daddy okay anak? 

I'm sure you're okay over there. By the way, my friends said that there must have been a bowling tournament in heaven the other night because the "kulog" was so loud. I told her that maybe the angels are playing and they were chasing each other. I don't know why I thought that. But I'm sure you're allowed to play in heaven, right? I just wish I know what you're up to in heaven. But you can visit me and tell me all about it. I'll wait until you're ready.

I love and miss you so much my Pochongchong.

Mommy Tintin

Ready for another challenge

Today I finally got my medical certificate. It means that apart from running another set of 16k, I am more or less ready for the Paris to Versailles run. See anak, I probably wouldn't be doing anything like this if not for you. You inspired me so much in believing that you could do anything. So now I am almost always ready to take any challenge. So far I have done quite a few, from running 10k to changing jobs after so many years, to actually staying as positive as I can with what happened to you. The latter remains a work in progress, but as you have said, "Kaya ko po, Ako pa". I am sure we will all get through this at some point.

The run will be on Sunday and I know this will be an exciting one as it is in Paris. This will be my first time to run internationally. And also, we will be visiting Lolo Monet's garden in Giverny. I am quite sad as I should really be with you when I visit the place. But don't worry, I will be bringing Meow with me. And of course, you will be there in spirit too. I'm sure you will cheering for me, Daddy and Meow.

In the other news, I was looking at the photos of Mama's birthday and their charity event. Looks like everyone had so much. How I wish you were there too because I am sure you would have enjoyed giving away gifts to the children and playing with them. But I am sure you are already having fun playing with other angels up there.

By the way, I have now finished ready the book I told you about few days ago. I will write to you about it next time as I need to prepare for my run with Daddy. Please watch over us as we take this challenge. I know you will. You can invite all your angel friends and even Papa Jesus to watch us run. I hope I will make you proud as you have made me.

Well anak, how many times do I have to tell that I am missing you? I always wish you were here. Please don't forget, I love you okay?

Mommy Tintin

Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars

For some reason today when I got home I went on youtube looking for Bruno Mars's new song (if there was any), but I couldn't find anything. Instead, I found this song in his old album, "Talking to the Moon". There isn't even an official video, just covers mostly and videos made by amateur directors maybe. But I still like the song and the lyrics of course. 

Sometimes I find myself talking to the stars, not the moon but perhaps it's the same, right? Most of the time I end up talking to you though because I know you're just out there. And yes, I have been writing to you for the last 200 plus days. People probably think that I am crazy for doing this, but hey this is my way of communicating to an angel. Yes I can easily talk to you in silence, meaning in my thoughts but I want to be able to remember what I have told you even when I am very old. For this reason, I try really hard to write to you everyday. You see, I want to go back to everything that I have written in here and be able to reflect on what I went through when you left and most importantly, how I got through it. Hence, my letters to Keith Ashley. :)

Going back to Bruno Mars though. I am not sure if he has any new song out. Honestly, since you left, I have only been listening to your favourite songs, so I don't really have any idea what new songs are out there now. I just wanted to update you because I know that you probably don't listen or sing to earthly songs anymore because angels only sing "Songs of Praise", right? I kind of thought about this because I am reading a book at the moment. I will tell you all about it as soon as I finish reading it. Basically it's about a man who went to heaven for 90 minutes then came back to earth. And he said that he heard angels singing "songs of praise" so I thought maybe it's true. This is the reason why I am looking  for Bruno's new songs so I can share it with you, but I didn't find any. But don't worry, as soon as I find one I will let you know.

So, here's Bruno singing Talking to the Moon:

Did you notice anything familiar to you? I bet you did - the moon and the stars, right? Ha, I wish you were here so you could have drawn more of the stars, the sun and the moon. But never mind because I know that you're no longer too far away from the things that you loved the most.

You know I miss you, right? I love you baby.

Mommy Tintin