And I just want to thank you.
Because of you I became a mother. Although I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months, you were as if my own. I was there when you were born. In fact, Daddy and I gave you your name Ashley. I may have not been there for you physically most of your life, but I know you knew that I was always there for you. The distance between us was never a reason for me not to fulfill my role as a mother to you. I wished I saw you grew up though. But the phone calls we had from when you were just mumbling your first words to when I could actually ask you about your first crush are some of the moments I will treasure the most. It's really a shame that I have only gone home four times since I came to England. If I only knew that you were going to leave us that soon, I would have made an extra effort to come and see you more often. But regardless of how much little time I have spent with you physically, those times were the best times.
I also owe my motherhood to your Mama and Papa. They gave me the opportunity to be your Mommy. When I found out that Mama was pregnant, I asked them if I could adopt you. I don't know but for some reason, I already wanted you to be mine from the moment I found out about you. Of course Mama and Papa were hesitant to begin with because you were their first child. Papa asked me, "What if we won't have any more children?" I told him, "Okay, let's wait until you have another one, then I'll adopt Keith". Luckily, a few years later, Ading Linus came so I asked them again. You have no idea how difficult it was for me to convince them. But after I explained my reason for adopting you, they said yes. So, I legally adopted you when you were four.
You were probably too young to understand what was going on. But I remember when Inang and Mama asked you to change your middle name to F instead of A. You cried because your Ading's middle initial was A and you didn't want to be different from him. Then when you were about 6 or 7, I wanted to take you to England. But when Mama and Inang told you about it, you cried again because you didn't want to leave your Adings behind. You told them you wanted to bring them with you. So, I thought I'd take you when you are older. But God has beaten me to it. I am heartbroken, but perhaps you are in a much better place now. But still....
Ah, this is one of our last photos together. This was taken during a family day out at Megan's resort. I just realized that we actually do not have a lot of photos together - just you and me. How I wish I could have taken more photos with you. :(
No words can ever express how fortunate I am to be your mother. You were a child any mother would wish to have. You were (almost) perfect in every way. I say "almost" because apparently, nobody's perfect.
Thank you anak for being the son I could always be proud of. Please also thank Jesus for giving you to me. You were the most wonderful gift I have ever recieved. And thank you for the 11 blessed years I have spent with you.
Because of you, I now know how to be a mother. And I promise to continue being a mother to Ading Linus and Ading Cxyrelle, and of course to your future sister or brother (from me and Daddy Don).
I am missing you loads. I love you.
Mommy Tintin
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