A Revealing Dream

Last night I had this dream that somehow made me realize that maybe, just maybe something went wrong that's why you were taken away from us unexpectedly. I really would not rather think about it that way, but I feel that this dream is telling me something. After all this time, I never thought of any reason why you left us apart from the fact that it's probably God's will and that you really didn't belong to us. I never really wanted to think that maybe it was a human error. Or maybe at the back of my head, this is really what I am thinking? I am more confused now than I have ever been. As much as possible, I really don't want to blame anybody. But what is my dream all about?

In my dream was my friend who owned the hospital where you were confined in. Without me having to ask, he mentioned something about one of the doctors who was in charge of your care when you were with them. As far as I can remember, she was a lady doctor. Then my friend told me, "yes, she did something by mistake"- not his exact words but kind of the same meaning. This is one thing I really don't like about dreams- sometimes they are so blur to remember. Anyway, my friend then asked me if I wanted to do something about it because if I didn't then he would. It seemed like he was trying to tell me that the the lady doctor made a mistake and that she should pay for what she's done. I woke up feeling hurt and confused. I have been thinking about the dream since then and I have already cried a few times over it. I really don't want to think that you were taken away from us because of someone's carelessness. That will totally break my heart all over again.

I don't think I will tell any of our family about this dream. They may interpret it the wrong way. If anything, I would tell this to my religious friend. Maybe she can tell me exactly what this dream is all about. She has always believed that I have the power of dreams, that I should understand my dreams better and not take them for granted. So perhaps she is the right person to know about this dream.

Please anak help me to find out what really happened so I can put my mind at rest. It is very easy to convince people that the cause of your passing was Dengue. But could there be another reason behind that? Because I know that you were better after you had all the treatments that you needed. Now I guess I am back to square one.

My tears will never run dry. You are always in my thoughts. I love you baby.

Mommy Tintin