Mama and I were on skype for a while this morning. I suddenly realized that I never took a screen shot of us talking on skype. I never thought about that before. But every moment that I spent with you on skype will remain in my memory forever. I can picture you quite rightly in my head. So, I guess I'm going to settle with that for now.
Mama was telling me that she can't read her facebook very well because the letters have gone really small for some reason. She was trying to fix it while we were talking but she couldn't. Then we both remembered you. Mama has always told me that whenever she couldn't fix something or she didn't know what to do, you were always there to help her or to teach her. That's why she misses you more in times like this. Then Ading Cxyrelle kept bothering her about going into youtube because she wanted to watch funny videos. I asked Ading where she got that idea from and she said, "Si Kuya Keith po". She said she likes watching videos that you used to watch, like just for laughs on youtube. I think Ading Cxyrelle is more interested in things that you were into before, more so than Ading Linus. And apparently, other people are also saying that Ading Cxyrelle may have inherited some of your talents. I will be very happy if this is the case because then we can keep your legacy somehow.
Mama also told me that they will bring your bed when they move into your new house because that's what Ading Linus wants. Ading Linus apparently said that they will keep the upper bed for you, for when you visit and wants to spend the night. I didn't realize that you preferred to sleep on top. Because I remember when I went home the last time, you and Ading Linus slept together on the bottom bed. I used to come and kiss you both in the morning before you even woke up. I certainly miss those moments with you. Then Mama reminded Ading to turn off the light in your room before he went to bed. Apparently they kept the routine of not turning your light off until you fell asleep. So now, they only turn it off when they are ready to go to sleep.
That reminded me that maybe we should have planted a tree for you. I actually thought about that when I was still there, but because there were a lot of things going on I forgot all about it. I will make sure we plant something for you the next time I go home. I know you also loved cacti, so I was also thinking of planting some for you. Or better yet, I'll just make a garden for you when I have extra money. I think that's what I should do, don't you think?
By the way, Mama visited your house on earth earlier on. She said she planted angel flowers around it before, but it was gone when they went there today. She was not sure if they were eaten by the goats or they were stolen. It's such a shame, right? I told her to just plant again.
Meanwhile, I was cleaning our bathroom when I suddenly thought about you. Well, I think about you everyday, but for some reason this time I couldn't believe that you're gone. Then I started crying again. It's a weird feeling you know because I have honestly accepted the fact that you're no longer with us. And then all of a sudden, here I am again asking "why?". I don't know what triggered it this time, but I just thought that maybe you shouldn't have left us. There is this bitterness inside me again that keeps coming back. Sometimes it's okay, but other times it's just bad.
I don't know anak. All I know is that I miss you so much everyday and all I long is to hear your sweet voice again. I love you so much.
Mommy Tintin
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