16 days from now

It's the 1st of August and I am dreading to think that 16 days from now, it will be your first angel birthday. How are we going to celebrate it without you? Of course we will, but I am sure it is going to be different, much much different from the eleven August 17's that we had in our lives. I know you would rather see us happy that day, so we will try our best to think of just the happy moments that we shared together. It's gonna be hard but we will try. But I am not going to make any promises that there will be no tears because I know there will be.

As much as you were special to us when you were still around, I didn't realize that I am capable of doing things that are even more special, only for you. They're right in saying that you'll never really realize how important a person is until they're gone. I sometimes ask myself why I am doing all this? What's the point, you're no longer here? Why didn't I do this when you were still here? But again, I didn't have any reason to do anything then, because I was confident that if only you lived longer, you will one day be famous in you're own right- because you were a good boy, you were talented, you had a very pleasant personality and you had the looks. You were the whole package and I know you would have gone far. I believed in you. I could see you having your first art exhibition, selling your first art-piece and then more, your first recital as a full-pledged musician, traveling the world with me and Daddy Don and your siblings, being recognized for all the good things that you have done and my list can definitely go on and on and on.

What I am trying to say really is that I want the whole world to know how wonderful you were. And I don't want people to forget you. That's all I really want.

So, this August (until your birthday at least), I want to write things that most people don't know about you. Don't worry anak, there will be nothing to be ashamed of, only to laugh about. So, I hope you won't mind me sharing your little secrets to the world. :)

I know I have written quite a lot about you already, but I will never get tired of doing it. I don't care if people will eventually get tired of reading stuff about you. I know I have been and will always be stage mom, and I am proud of it.

I love you so much anak and I am missing you more than ever before.

Mommy Tintin