Why do people die in different ways?

As part of my search to find solace when you left, I joined a group on facebook called the grieving mothers. And there I saw mothers who have lost a child or two in so many different ways. And then when I attended the Compassionate Friends meeting last month, I also met bereaved parents who are still grieving for their children after so many years. And I also heard different stories about how they lost their children. And this kept me asking why do people die in different ways?

Perhaps Daddy is right when he said that what happened to you could have been worse. You could been murdered like Natasha, drowned like LuisJo, killed in an accident like Kuya Mark or just didn't wake up anymore. Sometimes when I am wishing that you never left us, questions start to build up in my head. What if you didn't go and in college you get bullied by others? I ask myself this question a lot  because to me, you were a good example of a child who was more likely to be bullied because you really didn't know how to fight back. People would be hurting you and you won't say anything. You were actually lucky because although you were different from your friends, they respected you and they looked up to you. And what if people took advantage of your kindness and did something bad to you? What if you became depressed and took your own life like Ate Maningning? You know, there could have been a lot of possibilities. So these are the times when I thank God that He took you the way He did because we never saw you suffer. Well, we knew you were suffering but you just didn't show us.

This kind of makes me feel better because I don't know, for some reason this makes me believe that God really intended to take you. It was His will. I am not sure about those who were murdered or those who took their own lives though. Will God do such thing you think? I wouldn't think so but who knows. As they always say, God has his won reasons.

See, I have been having this argument with myself for a very long time now and I still can't seem to understand. My belief is that if God loves us, He should take each and everyone of us in way that we don't need to suffer and only in a good way. You know what I mean? But why do people have to suffer before they die? I mean those who are murdered or involved in accidents. Could it be because the evil is trying to build his own kingdom too? Is satan using God's people to take others' lives? I'm really confused. It would be nice if I could speak to someone about this so I can be enlightened.

Another thing that also confuses me is when people tell me that you were taken away because you were too good to be on earth. Honestly, this is also what I believe in. Some people always say that only the good ones die young, and yes I agree with them. Because among the grieving mothers I have met, none of them actually said that their children were bad. Well perhaps, some of them were in bad company but that doesn't mean that they too were bad. So thinking about this, maybe it's true that satan is also using other people to influence God's children to do bad things. And perhaps sometimes God wins and sometimes He doesn't. And that's when satan prevails.

Ha, it's rather confusing. You couldn't ask God could you anak? Please tell Him that your Mommy is confused as to why people die in different ways. I am sure he can explain it to you clearer than anyone could ever do.

Just a thought really. How I wish I was able to have a discussion about this with you. I'm sure you had an opinion on this having been so religious. This is making me miss you more but what can I do? I think I have never ever spoken to you as often as this in your lifetime. Funny isn't it? But I'm sure that even if we didn't speak that much, you knew how much I love you, right?

Mommy Tintin