Tuesday, 22 January 2013

I think I'm crazy

I'm not sure if it is the fact that in 6 days will be the day that you left us or it's just how things are back home at the moment. But I already know for a fact that I have anxiety issues because I grew up having panic attacks at little scream I heard or when Tatang or Papa didn't come home on time. I thought I have outgrown this problem, but since you left, I think it got worse.

Now I often get palpitations and start getting nervous when I think of something negative. I don't even understand why I have to think that way. And then I develop a habit that I am afraid to break because of a fear that if I break the habit, something bad might happen.I know this is not right anak, but I can't help it. I worry all the time and I sometimes work up myself too much that I get headaches and chest pains.

How I wish I will get better soon. I think all I need is a peace of mind- a reassurance that everything is going to be okay.

Please ask Father God to give us peace and harmony. That's all I can ask for now.

I am missing you so much anak. I wish you were here. I love you okay?


Mommy Tintin


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