It was January 11, 2012 when you had mumps. Mama told me that you were not really ill with it. You even went to school with it. Although I was not that concern about mumps because I also had it when I was young, I made sure that Mama watched for any other symptoms. It was also around this time of the year when I was not able to phone home often because I was busy with work. I have been commuting from London to Bristol and it was really stressful.
Mama told me at that time that there were also other kids in your school who had mumps so perhaps you got the virus from them. There were really no signs that we were going to lose you soon because everything seemed to have been normal. Although you were already saying weird things, we really didn't take any of those seriously.
It's 17 days before you left us and I feel worse and worse each day. Of course, my attention is often diverted on work and other stuff but when I am alone even at work, I think of you and suddenly the pain is too strong that I want to cry out loud. I keep going back to what happened on your last few days. I would like to document everything now because this is what is helping me in my recovery. Some people might find it weird that I write about our heartaches and stuff, but only me can understand. People heal in different ways and this is part of my healing.
I know God is also doing His own divine intervention on us, but as a human I need to find what is easy for me. There are still a lot of things that I want to do to help heal those wounds. But I know this is a long process and I am not in a hurry. I will take my time until I am completely healed. I still believe that God has a plan for us, I just have to wait.
Tomorrow is Tito JL's birthday and I am hoping to speak to him. I know you did something nice on his birthday so I want to know more about it.
You are deeply missed dear boy. Mommy loves you.
Mommy Tintin
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