Difficult times

Birthdays, Angelversaries, Weddings and Graduations.......probably the most difficult times in our lives as grieving mothers. 

So your friends finally graduated from grade school yesterday. And while their parents were very excited and happy, Mama and I were grieving. Obviously, we are really sad because you would have also graduated with them. Only grieving mothers will really understand how we feel. You know what made things worse? They probably didn't even paid tribute to you. What's two-minute silence to remember you or even just to mention you? Perhaps it's not necessary. Maybe I was just expecting too much. But then again, I'm sure every mother who has lost a child will expect and feel the same way.

I'm sure you were watching your friends from heaven and that you were very proud of them. It's just a shame that you were not there to celebrate with them.\\

How I wish you were here. You would have been really happy. I can only imagine you smiling and laughing softly. You are very handsome in your toga as usual.

As much as I would have loved to see you graduate from grade school, God had other plans. It doesn't matter though because whether you finished grade school or not, you have achieved more than most of the kids out there. And for that, we will be forever proud of you.

I miss you so much anak. Please know that you are always in my heart and in my mind. I may not write to you everyday anymore, but God knows how much I think of you. I love you more than you'll ever know.

Mommy Tintin

Your Adings' Awards

It was only yesterday and today that I was able to speak to our family properly as everyone has been very busy. It was also only then I heard about what happened at your Adings' moving up program.

They are both not in the honour roll, but it's okay. It really doesn't matter to us. The most important thing is that your Adings know that they didn't work hard to make it to the honour roll. They are both humble enough to accept that. Both of them said that they can do it, but they need to try harder next time. I so admire your Adings for that.

So, both of them bagged the Best in Music and Arts awards. I am so proud of them. I know somehow, they will keep your legacy. Afterall, you all started at the same time. And whether they say it or not, you are their inspiration. I know one day, Ading Lye and Ading Cye will continue what you have started. They just need time.

On top of that, Ading Linus also got the Best in PE and Editorial Cartooning awards. Isn't obvious that Ading is following on your footsteps in Music, Art and Editorial Cartooning? I hope he continues to excel in those areas. Although I think he is still finding his core. He likes to try on a lot of things, mostly in sports. But whatever he chooses, we will support him all the way.

I'm sure you are very proud of your Adings. When Mama and Ading Cye visited your new house on earth, she brought her medals with her to show you. According to Mama, she was bragging about it. She apparently said, "Kuya, I have two medals- Best in Music and Best in Art. Kya Lye only had one, Best in PE". Haha. I'm sure you were laughing when you heard her say that. You know how Ading Cye is like sometimes. Mama corrected her of course. And then Ading laugh.

I am very happy that your Adings are using you as their inspiration and that they share their successes with you. I hope they will never change.

Well, what else? We miss you so so much. We always wish you were here. Our love for you will never end.

Please watch over us, especially your Adings anak. We love you.

Mommy Tintin 

Graduation Month

Of course I am jealous. You would have been called a graduate this month too, but unfortunately you had to go home to Jesus early.I know you would have been very happy to finish grade school and further your studies. I remember you wanted to go to the Science school in Olongapo. You also considered attending National Arts School in Makiling. I can tell now that you were serious about becoming an artist. How I wish God has given you more time to fulfill your dream. But as other people have always said, God has a reason for everything. And whatever that is, I'm sure it's for the better.

So teacher Nhica posted your friends' photo on facebook and I couldn't help but cry. You would have been in that photo, too. I am thankful that I got to know your friends, but it would have been better if you were still here so I could talk to you about them. They are a nice bunch of crazy kids and I like them. I am sure that you are proud of your friends for getting this far.

Your bestfriend Aga graduated yesterday. Apparently he has been busy studying for his entrance exam at the Science School. If you think he should go there then help him anak. I know you will. That way, he can make your dreams come true. I know you two really wanted to go to school there.

I miss Aga. I haven't spoken to him for a while. Maybe when he's not that busy anymore.

Hayyy, how I wish you were here. I miss you a lot baby. Please visit me again soon. I love you so so much.

Mommy Tintin

Thank you for the visit anak

I finally dreamed about you last night. You were wearing your favourite yellow button down shirt that I gave you. We were walking hand in hand and I asked you if you were okay. You said you were and I pinched your cheeks and kissed you. Your skin was so soft and your cheeks were really chubby. You were so handsome.

Too bad it was such a short visit, but it's better than not visiting me at all. You know I miss you so much. I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I love you anak ko. 

Please visit me again soon.

Mommy Tintin

I did it again!

So, I ran my first ever half marathon last Sunday for you. I must admit that it was the most difficult run that I have done so far. It was very cold. But I wanted you to be proud of me so I endured the cold to finish my run in 2 hours and 30 minutes. It's funny how you make me feel like you were with me. I was becoming impatient because I felt like I have ran 10km when in fact, I have only ran 5k. I hate it that they actually put how many km have you ran. It doesn't  help me at all.

Anyway, at 16km I was feeling really tired and I already wanted to walk, but then your favourite song "Lighters" came on. I always get embarrassed whenever I want to give up and this happens because I know that you're telling me not to give up because you believe I can do it. So I carried on until the last kilometer when your song came on again. Ha, maybe you were telling me this time that you were proud of me. I don't know but whenever I am running, your song always comes on when I am ready to give up. That's your little trick on me and it always works.

So anak, my first ever half marathon was for you.

 

I love you and I miss you so much baby.

Mommy Tintin

 

Taking the extra mile for you

We're now in Holland for the Hague half marathon. It is my first half marathon and it's your Daddy's third. The weather in England has been really bad lately so we really didn't train as much as we should. I only ran 20k once and I think it was not that bad. After the run, I felt like I could have ran more. The only thing is, I killed my left middle too. It is now black. It was painful at first, but the pain is completely gone now.

So tomorrow is the day and it's raining in the Netherlands. Daddy and I are quite worried as we really never ran in the rain before. I am most worried of the cold really because I am not very good with it. Besides, I left my jacket in London. In fact I left a lot of my running stuff because I didn't have much time to pack, so all was done in a rush. Even Daddy forgot his gloves. So I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. But I am confident that Father God will guide us and of course, you will be there to look over us too.

I feel bad because I am not able to sponsor Casa San Miguel. It is the only charity that I want to help at the moment because I want to help kids who are talented yet can't afford to go to art and music school to hone their talents. I want to keep your legacy that way. But I am not losing hope. One day I know I will be able to help Casa San Miguel in my own way. I just need some time.

Thank you for the inspiration anak. If it were not for you, I wouldn't have gone the extra mile to prove to myself that I can do anything. You are the only reason why I am doing these things. You are my inspiration.

Ah, I miss writing to you. But even if I don't, believe it or not, you are constantly in my thoughts. I miss you so much.

I love you baby.

Mommy Tintin