I have totally forgotten our family routine as soon as September comes. By this time, Inang would have put the Christmas tree up and Mama and you guys would have hung the lanterns. Inang would normally start playing Christmas songs on the first of September to mark the "ber" months. But this time, it's completely different. I for one didn't even thought about this tradition anymore and even Mama I guess. I used to ring Inang to ask her if the Christmas lights were on. And then today, I read Mama's post on facebook about not being excited for Christmas. I completely understand why. I haven't even thought about Christmas yet. I know it's just around the corner, but it is no longer as significant to me as when you were still here.
One thing that really hurts is when your Adings apparently told Mama that they shouldn't be celebrating Christmas at home. Instead they want to celebrate Christmas at your house on earth. Your Adings, especially Ading Linus wants to light up firecrackers with you, because that was one thing that you really enjoyed doing together. It sounds like he's not scared of the dark, right?
I don't really know how we're going to spend Christmas this year. Well, in England you don't really feel the spirit of Christmas, but back home? I'm sure it's going to be difficult.
Hayyy, it's really hard not to think about you baby. At times, it still feels surreal. I don't know but I just wish things would have been different. I am missing you so much and I love you more than ever before. I am sure you know that.
Mommy Tintin
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