My emotional start of the day

I had multiple dreams again last night. First of all, I dreamt that my friend Bernadette threw a surprise birthday for me in December ha. My birthday is in July and I don't know why I dreamt about this. I don't know if I have told you that I wanted to be surprised by friends and family on one of  my birthdays. I just love pleasant surprises basically. But that dream was really weird as the surprise happened 5 months after my day. There were cards, flowers and I think there were candles to blow too. Thinking about it now, this dream is actually quite scary. Why the flowers and the candles? I was happy in the dream though so it can't be bad. Oh my God, now I've got another thing to think and be stressed about. I hope this dream doesn't mean anything bad.

The second dream was that I was having an operation on my eye. I dreamt about this probably because I have been having an itch problem under my left eye. I have been irritated by it and have been thinking about it even when I'm asleep I guess. And so in that dream, I had a problem with my eyesight and the doctor told me that they should operate on it. Weird.

There was a third dream but I can't recall anything now. It always happens you know. And this is despite the fact that I now sleep with Meow. Before when I sleep with Meow, I don't dream. But now, it doesn't seem to work anymore which makes me sad. But Meow comforts me you know.

Perhaps those dreams affected me a bit because I was not very enthusiastic when I woke up this morning. I just wanted to stay in bed. I was cuddling Meow all the time. And then all of a sudden, Daddy asked something about you and I started crying. I held meow tight and just let my emotions out. When this happens, I tend to question again. It's really hard to accept what happened sometimes. You know when you think that you're okay now and that you have learned to accept the painful things that happened in your life, and all of a sudden you're knocked right down again because the reality is, you're really not okay. Maybe this is me pretending to be okay when I'm really not. I don't know really.

But Daddy has been very good and he just hugged me tight when I started crying. He always gives me time to let all my emotions out. Well, some days are really better than others.

I cry because I miss you and I have told you about this before. How I wish I can have you back in my life. I love you so much.

Mommy Tintin